In less than a month, my son heads to college.
He is very ready for this.
I am a weepy mess. He is my firstborn and his entry into our lives was precious and amazing. It seems like just a few years ago that I changed his diaper for the first time. It was in the hospital and I had no idea what I was doing. He was somewhat patient with me and we got through this new experience (diaper changing) together.
Being his mother has taught me so much…. to slow down, to listen better (I have not always listened well, especially during the teen years), to cherish him and his sisters. My own sisters and I grew up with a great deal of loss and before becoming a mother, I had grown accustomed to cherishing people who too frequently vanished from my life. Becoming a mother made me realize the value and joy that comes with cherishing people who are in your life everyday.
When he was little, before he was a big brother, my son and I would read together every night. He’d pick a book; we’d read it and then we would cuddle in the dark. Every night after we turned the lights out, I would tell a story about a little boy and it went like this:
“Once upon there was a lucky lady. Do you know why she was a lucky lady? She was lucky because she was a mommy. But she wasn’t just ANYONE’s mommy. She was Aidan’s mommy and that made her very lucky indeed…”
And then the story would continue with some details about the adventure of the day that my son had been involved with.
I have truly been so lucky to have this boy in my life.
As he packs up to head to college in another state, so far away, I gird myself for the challenges of saying good-bye. He’s fairly independent right now – in and out of the house hanging out with friends. But at the end of August, he will be out of the house and living elsewhere. And that is something I’m not ready for – though my readiness is not at all relevant to the matter. He is nearing adulthood and he needs to leave the nest and stand on his own. He is ready.
I am not. Motherhood has been so much a part of who I am for the last 18 years, but I realize the daily chores and tasks of motherhood are coming to an end.
Now it is my job to watch him fly off into his own life…
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